A CHAT

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
Reblogged from elmify
A VIDEO

lohrien:

Illustrations by Piotr Jablonski 

Reblogged from Game Concept Art
A VIDEO

ladyinterior:

Illuminated Cut Paper Lightboxes by Hari and Deepti

A VIDEO

99percentinvisible:

Apparently the famous Windows XP “Bliss” background is a real, unaltered photograph

Windows presented an interview with photographer Charles O’Rear in this video, and then went to see the site where the photo was taken, in Napa. 

That first photo is, of course, “Bliss.” The second is what the hill looked like on the day that the Microsoft camera crew went there. 

Reblogged from 99% Invisible
A PHOTO

natgeofound:

Men inspect a British airplane with folding wings, 1918.
No Credit Given

A VIDEO

fastcompany:

Sparkling Sidewalks That Reduce The Need For Street Lighting

There’s little need to be wary of a nighttime stroll though a park in Cambridge, England. During the day, particles in the surface of the path absorb UV light. In the evening, they release that energy again. The result is a beautiful effect that its creators call “Starpath.”

Read More>

Reblogged from 99% Invisible
A VIDEO

uimapcoll:

April 21, 1943: The “Surgeon’s Photograph” was published in the Daily Mail, purporting to be proof of the Loch Ness Monster’s existence.

In honor of Nessie, a host of sea monsters! And a little bit of Loch Ness thrown in.

Maps:  Magnus, Olaus. “Carta Marina.” Sea monsters: a voyage around the world’s most beguiling map / Joe Nigg. Chicago ; London : The University of Chicago Press, 2013.

Tatton, Gabriel. Nova et rece terraum [sic] et regnorum Californiae, novae Hispaeiae Mexicanae, et Peruvia … / M. Tattonus celebrem sydrogeographó edita ; Benjamin Wright Anglus caelator.  [New York] : American Heritage, [196-?]

Arrowsmith, Aaron, 1750-1823. Map of Scotland, from original materials… [London], 1811.

Hondius, Jodocus. Septentrio America. [Amsterdam], 1606.

Blaeu, Joan, 1596-1673. “Americae: Nova tabula.” The third centenary edition of Johan Blaeu Le grand atlas; ou, Cosmographie blaviane. Amsterdam, 1663. Amsterdam, 1967-

Münster, Sebastian, 1489-1552. Typus universalis / Sebastian Münster.  [St. Louis] : Roy Wenzlick and Co., [196-?]

Ortelius, Abraham, 1527-1598. Typus orbis terrarum : quid ei postest videri magnum in rebus humanis, cvi … / map by Abraham Ortelius, 1590.  New York : Penn Prints, [1986?]

Ortelius, Abraham, 1527-1598. Americae sive novi orbis, nova descriptio. Reproduced from his Theatrum orbis terrarum published in Antwerp.  [Antwerp] 1587. St. Louis, R. Wenzlick [1954]

A VIDEO

thought-cafe:

Rachel Sussman captures the ‘oldest living things in the world’; organisms 2,000 yrs +!

Reblogged from Thought Café